Here's what it is:
One must be patient. I prayed for a thing when I was young and the distinct impression I received was that if I were patient, I would eventually receive it if that's what I wanted.
I weighed patience and the thing and chose to drop it and move on.
What it is, is, I'm not patient. I can be patient with diabetes and my wife and my friends and my kids, my customers and those I try to help. No matter how disappointed I am in current affairs, if just keep patience for the final finish and the final reward, or at least rewards in the future, near and distant, or both, and be all I can to all these people, including the flakey ones, rather than punish them or give up on them, each one of them will do me justice in the end by their gratitude and love at the very least.
I had an appointment this morning at 9:00 am to see a man at a fabrication shop and tour his operation, and see about possible collaboration. I didn't hear my alarm. I'd fought with my wife for no reason last night and stayed up quite late. I woke up at 9:00 sharp and had to call and tell him. He said to call him next week but I did not want to, after what happened. But I will. Hopefully, he'll choose patience. This experience really shook me up.
There - see? I didn't want to call next week because I had no patience with myself.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
I fell off the wagon day before yesterday and I ain't got back on. I don't have an explanation. Today, I was hungry and had a lot of juice and felt great and then went and ate a whole lot more and didn't feel as great, but wasn't sorry. I got up to 277 and took 5 units.
Now I have a question: Why do, or do we have to always be tested and fail right after we say something? Why do I have to binge or whatever every single time I tell someone how well I've been doing? Why do I have to eat a piece of cake right after I tell someone I do not eat cake? Why do I have to yell at my wife right after saying I never want to yell again? Why, after explaining that our feelings follow our actions and we don't really feel very angry until we start yelling and then it takes off exponentially, and that the common tool of Satan is to turn down the light, do I have to do that very thing for the first time in ages? Seems we are always tested right away on whatever we say. In my case, I usually fail. It kind of serves as a fortification of my knowledge that what I said really really was true, for the next opportunity to be tested.
All I can say is, I feel no discouragement or doubt. My recent success has been too great for any of that. I use the word success for clarity but I really mean blessing.
Sure am loving that Romaine. Been eating the red variety - did you know there is a difference in flavor from the regular green kind?
While I'm here, let me tell you about the wild flowers along the bike trail in Baldwin Borough. I could not tell whether they were planted deliberately by humans or just naturally occurring weeds. They were breathtaking today. I was coming home from the dentist (oral surgery) and gazing at the colors helped ease the pain. I felt fine afterward, a good kind of hurt. The colors and the patterns were both unprecedented for me.
Still feeling a lot of love.
And I don't know whether I mentioned it, but I have been noticing a sudden acceleration in my love for Pittsburgh and surrounding area and people lately. It really is such a cool place. I was riding up river close to home and thinking boy I sure couldn't be doing this back in the Utah desert, no sir. Of course, different as they are, I enjoy cycling equally in Pittsburgh and Salt Lake City, each for very different but good reasons. I think it is silly to compete and trash talk between cities and states. I love the whole earth. What do I care that some guys drew some borders and built some buildings and infrastructure and set up some governments? I'll tell you what I do not like though. I am very against the big push to standardize things and make everything all brand new (even if no one occupies) to the point (which we have already arrived and passed by) that you cannot tell what city or part of the country you are in because the brand new shopping areas all look the same. We need more mom and pops and dusty roadsides. C'mon.
Now I have a question: Why do, or do we have to always be tested and fail right after we say something? Why do I have to binge or whatever every single time I tell someone how well I've been doing? Why do I have to eat a piece of cake right after I tell someone I do not eat cake? Why do I have to yell at my wife right after saying I never want to yell again? Why, after explaining that our feelings follow our actions and we don't really feel very angry until we start yelling and then it takes off exponentially, and that the common tool of Satan is to turn down the light, do I have to do that very thing for the first time in ages? Seems we are always tested right away on whatever we say. In my case, I usually fail. It kind of serves as a fortification of my knowledge that what I said really really was true, for the next opportunity to be tested.
All I can say is, I feel no discouragement or doubt. My recent success has been too great for any of that. I use the word success for clarity but I really mean blessing.
Sure am loving that Romaine. Been eating the red variety - did you know there is a difference in flavor from the regular green kind?
While I'm here, let me tell you about the wild flowers along the bike trail in Baldwin Borough. I could not tell whether they were planted deliberately by humans or just naturally occurring weeds. They were breathtaking today. I was coming home from the dentist (oral surgery) and gazing at the colors helped ease the pain. I felt fine afterward, a good kind of hurt. The colors and the patterns were both unprecedented for me.
Still feeling a lot of love.
And I don't know whether I mentioned it, but I have been noticing a sudden acceleration in my love for Pittsburgh and surrounding area and people lately. It really is such a cool place. I was riding up river close to home and thinking boy I sure couldn't be doing this back in the Utah desert, no sir. Of course, different as they are, I enjoy cycling equally in Pittsburgh and Salt Lake City, each for very different but good reasons. I think it is silly to compete and trash talk between cities and states. I love the whole earth. What do I care that some guys drew some borders and built some buildings and infrastructure and set up some governments? I'll tell you what I do not like though. I am very against the big push to standardize things and make everything all brand new (even if no one occupies) to the point (which we have already arrived and passed by) that you cannot tell what city or part of the country you are in because the brand new shopping areas all look the same. We need more mom and pops and dusty roadsides. C'mon.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Slice a' French Toast
So today after church, having not eaten, I made my juice - with lots of collards and lots of wheat grass. Very rich with wheat grass today. Made a lot too. Drank all that plus had a lot of meat sauce whole wheat spaghetti a la Sharon and then some more with cream but before that had a slice of french toast the kids had left and also had some peanut butter and salad. Wow all at once and then 6 units thank you very much sure was good.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Slice of Bread
Actually, hot cakes.
Today I was telling someone again how well I was doing. Whenever I do that, I have a crash that night. I also told them I cannot eat a slice of bread, only my sprouted grains as-is.
So naturally, when I was done talking to them, I went and ate some of Sharon's hotcakes and then I topped it off with a bunch of popcorn. I felt sugary, even after some exercise and work, so I tested: 318. Took six units. Went to bed. Hour and a half later woke up and struggled up the stairs to eat some apples I got off the neighbor's ground - SOOO GOOD! Because my sugar had gone low and I was in a sweat and all that. After pigging out and then settling down and reading a bit and being afraid I would need another shot, I what the heck and spent another test strip: 107.
Also note, no juice today either.
Seems I am doing more poorly since quitting my supplements, but I'm going longer - jury's still out. One thing is certain: I always do poorly on days I don't have supplements or juice, even if I eat a lot of romaine and pretty good stuff.
Today I was telling someone again how well I was doing. Whenever I do that, I have a crash that night. I also told them I cannot eat a slice of bread, only my sprouted grains as-is.
So naturally, when I was done talking to them, I went and ate some of Sharon's hotcakes and then I topped it off with a bunch of popcorn. I felt sugary, even after some exercise and work, so I tested: 318. Took six units. Went to bed. Hour and a half later woke up and struggled up the stairs to eat some apples I got off the neighbor's ground - SOOO GOOD! Because my sugar had gone low and I was in a sweat and all that. After pigging out and then settling down and reading a bit and being afraid I would need another shot, I what the heck and spent another test strip: 107.
Also note, no juice today either.
Seems I am doing more poorly since quitting my supplements, but I'm going longer - jury's still out. One thing is certain: I always do poorly on days I don't have supplements or juice, even if I eat a lot of romaine and pretty good stuff.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Beautiful Feet? Beautiful News.
I never felt I had a need to force any of this on anyone and I did not want to chance upsetting anyone and I really didn't care that much....
But there comes a point when you realize something is undisputably no-contest true and it starts to flow from your mouth without carefulness.
But there comes a point when you realize something is undisputably no-contest true and it starts to flow from your mouth without carefulness.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Window Screens
I mentioned it in my last post, so I elaborate on screens.
First thing I do when I move into a place is remove those pesky storm doors that battle you every time you try to enter your house with the groceries. Next thing I do is throw away all screens.
There is no better method for hampering your view of the outdoors than utilizing a screen.
Screens are highly effective flow restrictors to inhibit cool, fresh breezes that would otherwise come in through the window or the front door.
Screens get rusty or dirty and are one of the most effective ways next to vinyl or aluminum siding to give your home that crappy look.
Screens trap, torture and kill flying insects inside your home. They do nothing to keep harmful bugs outside. At least where I live. Our mosquitos here are smart, if not likeable. They do not like to come into the house. So with all the windows wide open, they do not come in. They only like it in the garden and they only come out at night.
Did you know your worst air pollution you ever experience is inside your sealed up home? Weather permitting, ours is always wide open. It's the way I was raised. It's the only way. In winter, I air out the house each morning before turning on the furnace. And at night, I always prefer to sleep with the window wide open if I am not sleeping outside.
Fresh air, people. Fresh air.
First thing I do when I move into a place is remove those pesky storm doors that battle you every time you try to enter your house with the groceries. Next thing I do is throw away all screens.
There is no better method for hampering your view of the outdoors than utilizing a screen.
Screens are highly effective flow restrictors to inhibit cool, fresh breezes that would otherwise come in through the window or the front door.
Screens get rusty or dirty and are one of the most effective ways next to vinyl or aluminum siding to give your home that crappy look.
Screens trap, torture and kill flying insects inside your home. They do nothing to keep harmful bugs outside. At least where I live. Our mosquitos here are smart, if not likeable. They do not like to come into the house. So with all the windows wide open, they do not come in. They only like it in the garden and they only come out at night.
Did you know your worst air pollution you ever experience is inside your sealed up home? Weather permitting, ours is always wide open. It's the way I was raised. It's the only way. In winter, I air out the house each morning before turning on the furnace. And at night, I always prefer to sleep with the window wide open if I am not sleeping outside.
Fresh air, people. Fresh air.
Standard of Living vs. Quality of Life
We visited Aunt Connie in Southern Utah several years ago. She guided us to ancient ruins of villiages where people lived in hogans. We examined fragments of fine pottery. The thing that struck me most was, simple and probably rugged though their lifestyle, they probably had a better quality of life than I. I don't know this, but it seemed to be. I imagined fathers living close to their families and not having a lot of complicated machinery to maintain and be a cog of. But even though their technology was primitive, men are men and there may well have been a system in place for the power hungry to grind the face of the common man. Could be that his quality of life was no better than mine, who knows? But if you imagine it, people working together with each other and nature and none gouging any, indeed they would greatly prosper without hurting the earth or abusing each other. Their burdens would be very light. They would have quality of life. Family togetherness.
I just picked up a paragraph from Wilkepedia:
Deep ecology establishes principles for the well-being of all life on Earth and the richness and diversity of life forms. This is only compatible with a substantial decrease of the human population and the end of human interference with the nonhuman world. To achieve this, deep ecologists advocate policies for basic economic, technological, and ideological structures that will improve the quality of life rather than the standard of living . Those who subscribe to these principles are obliged to make the necessary change happen. (Devall, W. and G. Sessions (1985). Deep Ecology: Living As If Nature Mattered. Layton, Utah: Gibbs Smith, p. 70. ISBN 9780879052478)
This was written by someone who knew what I am talking about. But they do not have the right solution. The Lord declared, "For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves. Therefore, if any man shall take of the abundance which I have made, and impart not his portion, according to the law of my gospel, unto the poor and the needy, he shall, with the wicked, lift up his eyes in hell, being in torment."
I do not believe in a hands-off policy. We should be scientific and proactive; we are agents. We have dominion. We have the Lord's guidance. The earth did not just happen, so its maintenance should not be left to "nature" nor should it be left to evil men.
I call for people with a concience everywhere to stop consuming what they do not need. My favorite example is our brand-new "dependence" on refridgeration. Please! We have nearly 100% of our citizens in the US maintaining a guesstimated average of 65 degrees all summer long in their vehicles and buildings, whether they live in Georgia, Texas or North Dakota. I have never lived more than 6 months in a state where air conditioning was even useful, let alone needed. Why do the same people need to be in a 75 degree environment all winter long and a 60 degree environment all summer long? I used to ride a bus for an hour and 20 minutes to and from work across the cool Southeast Idaho desert during the summer time. The temperature (according to my memory) ranged between 70 and 90 degrees. I had to wear my long winter overcoat to ride and sleep on the bus because they always cranked the a/c to maintain a temperature somewhere in the 50's or close to it. This in an area where people lived comfortably in the summer without refridgeration for thousands of years, where there are no bugs to speak of, and sweat is a rare thing. I now live in Pennsylvania. It gets humid sometimes and sometimes it's hot. But we still have no use for air conditioning. One of my favorite things in life is having a fresh cool breeze waft in through an open (screenless) window on a hot and humid day or evening. People who live in a/c never get fresh air. They could go travel in space and never be unhappy. Finally, I have to ask, if we had it through the history of man until the last 110 years, WHAT IS WRONG WITH SWEAT?????????????????????????????????????????????
We think we must maintain our standard of living and light up the world. Why? Turn on a light when you need it. Why do we need to light up China? I will tell you who says we need to light up China: people selling commercial nuclear power. Do they have a reason? Yes - only that it will put money in their pocket and they will be able to say, "We lit up China. It was dark at night, looking from space, and the US was all lit up. Now they are both lit up." Why are we more concerned with "safety" and "security" than the environment? Why can't we use other, more direct and effective methods to find our way in the dark and combat crime than light? Why don't we carry a flashlight or just go to bed at night???????????
Everywhere I look, tons of excess extravagance. Most of it serving only to insulate from lawsuits and/or to make a marketing pitch.
But I just love that phrase, "improve the quality of life rather than the standard of living ."
I just picked up a paragraph from Wilkepedia:
Deep ecology establishes principles for the well-being of all life on Earth and the richness and diversity of life forms. This is only compatible with a substantial decrease of the human population and the end of human interference with the nonhuman world. To achieve this, deep ecologists advocate policies for basic economic, technological, and ideological structures that will improve the quality of life rather than the standard of living . Those who subscribe to these principles are obliged to make the necessary change happen. (Devall, W. and G. Sessions (1985). Deep Ecology: Living As If Nature Mattered. Layton, Utah: Gibbs Smith, p. 70. ISBN 9780879052478)
This was written by someone who knew what I am talking about. But they do not have the right solution. The Lord declared, "For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves. Therefore, if any man shall take of the abundance which I have made, and impart not his portion, according to the law of my gospel, unto the poor and the needy, he shall, with the wicked, lift up his eyes in hell, being in torment."
I do not believe in a hands-off policy. We should be scientific and proactive; we are agents. We have dominion. We have the Lord's guidance. The earth did not just happen, so its maintenance should not be left to "nature" nor should it be left to evil men.
I call for people with a concience everywhere to stop consuming what they do not need. My favorite example is our brand-new "dependence" on refridgeration. Please! We have nearly 100% of our citizens in the US maintaining a guesstimated average of 65 degrees all summer long in their vehicles and buildings, whether they live in Georgia, Texas or North Dakota. I have never lived more than 6 months in a state where air conditioning was even useful, let alone needed. Why do the same people need to be in a 75 degree environment all winter long and a 60 degree environment all summer long? I used to ride a bus for an hour and 20 minutes to and from work across the cool Southeast Idaho desert during the summer time. The temperature (according to my memory) ranged between 70 and 90 degrees. I had to wear my long winter overcoat to ride and sleep on the bus because they always cranked the a/c to maintain a temperature somewhere in the 50's or close to it. This in an area where people lived comfortably in the summer without refridgeration for thousands of years, where there are no bugs to speak of, and sweat is a rare thing. I now live in Pennsylvania. It gets humid sometimes and sometimes it's hot. But we still have no use for air conditioning. One of my favorite things in life is having a fresh cool breeze waft in through an open (screenless) window on a hot and humid day or evening. People who live in a/c never get fresh air. They could go travel in space and never be unhappy. Finally, I have to ask, if we had it through the history of man until the last 110 years, WHAT IS WRONG WITH SWEAT?????????????????????????????????????????????
We think we must maintain our standard of living and light up the world. Why? Turn on a light when you need it. Why do we need to light up China? I will tell you who says we need to light up China: people selling commercial nuclear power. Do they have a reason? Yes - only that it will put money in their pocket and they will be able to say, "We lit up China. It was dark at night, looking from space, and the US was all lit up. Now they are both lit up." Why are we more concerned with "safety" and "security" than the environment? Why can't we use other, more direct and effective methods to find our way in the dark and combat crime than light? Why don't we carry a flashlight or just go to bed at night???????????
Everywhere I look, tons of excess extravagance. Most of it serving only to insulate from lawsuits and/or to make a marketing pitch.
But I just love that phrase, "improve the quality of life rather than the standard of living ."
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