While I'm at it, I want to post something I think is of utmost importance to people with small children, people with big children and people with no children. It is getting a little off the subject of diet and lifestyle - or is it? But because it is so important......
It may be that all girls already know this and they will just say, "huh?" So but fathers, Pay Attention!
I have a theory that jerks are so to the degree that they have been starved for attention.
So if you know a jerk, give them more attention.
If you know someone cool, give them more attention.
Most importantly, give your kids attention. Growing up, I learned how to raise kids by flipping my sibling's kids in the head to discipline and control them. I knew well the value of Vitamin N. I knew how not to spoil a child and I was only 13.
Then I met my wife Sharon. When I met her, I thought I was pretty nice. When I married her, I began to discover fields of ignorance and imperfection all ready to harvest for repentance.
The most profound thing I learned was that YOU CANNOT GIVE TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO A CHILD OR ANYONE. And that THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GIVING UNLIMITED ATTENTION TO A CHILD AND SPOILING A CHILD.
Secondly, I discovered that a child can tell when you are playing or talking with them without stepping into their world.
And need I point out that if you are paying attention, by definition, you are not lecturing or threatening or advising superfluously or saying anything irrelevant? Come to think of it, maybe that's the difference between paying and giving attention. All kinds of negative attention could be given, but I think only the kind of attention I am talking about can be paid. On second thought, paying attention means listening; giving attention means doing for. So both. Both are always positive. And if you're yelling, complaining or accusing, you are probably demanding attention.
Sometimes, when little Eirik had been ignored too much, he would start to act spoiled and bratty. Or just plain irritating. The cuteness would begin to fade a bit. When this happened, Sharon or I would sit down and read him a book (one of his). This would make him perfect and cute again and we could go another couple of days without paying any attention to him.
Some kids may require a little more.
If you want them to behave and obey well, this is the secret. If you want them to be wise, respectful teens, this is the secret.
Remember, you can never do it too much - that's what makes it so profound.
Remember, but don't worry, you will regret not doing it more. You will.
Another thing that I learned, not from Sharon, but from a friend's wife's friend's husband, was the virtue of his statement, "I like teaching them things." Yes, doing things that work so well that they are easy are generally fun. So giving the little sponges something to soak up is quite an experience.
