Oh, I'm gonna love writing this one!
Back in about 1998, roughly, I'm not sure exactly, when I still was Type II diabetic, not yet Type I, when I was first healed of my diabetes, no one seemed to believe me. I couldn't help casually wondering whether their unbelief (or my reaction to it) caused or contributed to my eventual regression back to high sugars (Christ could do no miracle among groups that did not believe).
The point of my story has nothing to do with blame or cause and effect though. It is about my own reaction at the time, and my own paradigm. And their paradigm.
At the time, I was convinced that I was healed in the sense that I could eat anything I wanted.
But all I wanted was regular food - like I eat now.
People were concerned about me believing I was cured. Some were convinced that I was still experiencing high sugar and that I was starving myself to death by eating rocks and twigs. Since I wasn't eating cake, ice cream and catsup along with them, they assumed I was diabetic; I assumed since I wasn't diabetic I could eat those things but didn't want to.
I did not want to prove anything to them by eating their American food, but I gradually did. Eventually, my condition worsened in giant quantum drops.
Whereas splurging previously had no effect that lasted more than a day (that I could tell), now there was no recovery after one evening of splurging on sugar-sweetened chocolate. I was at a lower plateau.
I twice more dropped to lower plateaus until I was down on the ground. What does it mean, down on the ground? It means Type I. Suddenly, running 4 miles and swimming 1 no longer took my sugar down from >300 to 100. It left my sugar at >300. Always. And I was starving. I could eat the dinner of 12 men and while I was throwing it up in the back yard and telling myself (every single night) that I was sure I could eat right tomorrow, I still had the munchies. That's what happens when you become Type I. You need insulin from an external source. You produce little or none of your own, or not enough anyway.
I took my first shot of insulin, not expecting much, having tried glucofage in the past.
I was pleasantly surprised. For the first time in 8 years, I felt satisfied - didn't care to have any more food. I HAD UTTERLY FORGOTTEN THERE WAS SUCH A FEELING. And look at this - my sugar was 92!!
I was so grateful for insulin by needle! So grateful not to be hungry and not burning and sludging just for one day! I didn't care about drugs vs. natural. I didn't care about any of that at all. I had no pride either way. I didn't even care at all how or why a guy like me got to be diabetic (I got asked a lot because people always only saw me eating greens and running and riding a bike to work all my life). I didn't care because I was not hungry, not burning, and walking down the sidewalk with my wife, knowing that God knew exactly what was going on in my body. That's all I needed.
Now I understood why such a disciplined, studly wrestler had the willpower of a jelly fish every single night when he had thought he would eat right just that morning. It was because without insulin, the nutrients all just go right through you. You literally are starving. When you fast for a day or two to make wrestling weight (don't EVER do that), you don't really starve. When you have no insulin, YOU LITERALLY STARVE.
I didn't splurge. From the start, I understood the value of not abusing the insulin. However, along somewhere in the middle, I fell back into my evening 3-hour meals and took extra shots.
What was the point I was making? I may have to split this into 2 or 3 posts, for clarity.
Here's the point: The typical paradigm is, okay you don't need drugs for your diabetes any more because you are controlling it with diet and exercise, but you still have it and you can't have pizza and ice cream without your drugs.
The other paradigm is, my body, given the chance to eat normal instead of perverted, was able to heal itself and I no longer am diabetic. I do not control diabetes with a special or different means. I eat normal, regular food and have all of it that I want. I live normal and exercise regularly. I do not have diabetes.
But I admit that at my age and mileage, if I were to go back to eating crap and living a sedentary lifestyle, I would probably get diabetes again real quick. You see, when I first experienced healing, I was so anxious to show people a big miracle from Jesus, that I endeavored to believe and assert that I could again eat anything. Who knows? Maybe I could have, under certain circumstances; after all, I was still pretty young. Whatever. It doesn't matter.
My thought now is, if diabetes could happen to me at 36, it sure can happen again when I'm 48, and since I enjoy regular food more than doctored food anyway, I'm going to try not to go back to shooting up a storm and eating American. So since (in my paradigm) what I do is regular and normal and gives me such health and enjoyment, it dictates that all people should eat normally also. Or as close to it and as best as they can muster.
Paradigm 1: I control my diabetes with diet and exercise.
Paradigm 2: I stopped my perverted lifestyle; I now eat regular food. I no longer fuss with diabetes. I feel great. I gave my body a chance to heal. I will continue to be good to my body and will not have that disease again. All people will greatly benefit by treating their body the way it was designed to be treated - by overcoming vice.
Let me just say one more thing: no disease is fun, I'm sure. I am here to tell you what I know: Diabetes stinks. You don't want it. It is really really hard and you really struggle and you really suffer. Enjoying regular food and giving up the crap is a small price to pay to get out of this totally reeking disease. But many of you may not get out soon. You will have to be patient. If you are not allowed out soon, and if you seek God, it will be okay. You will be comforted and you will be given the strength to cope and the thrill of going for life knowing that you may be missing one wheel but you still have the pedal to the floor and we are all cheering as you power slide around that curve with your devil-may-care attitude. Then diabetes won't reek, it will be sweet, you'll see. But don't try it without total commitment to, and trust in God. Thank you very much.
